Tis the season and all that.

I'm struggling this year to find my holiday spirit. Maybe. Maybe I'm actually in the right spirit for Christmas. Here's the deal:


My littlest brother got married last week, and they won't be back from their cruise until after Christmas. Because of the timing, the grands and Aunt Ruth are not coming to Chattanooga for Christmas - for the first time in 23 years. For the first time in 26 years, I have a real and very wonderful boyfriend, and we won't be together for the holiday either. Middle brother planned his vacation time for last week and now has to work all around Christmas and thus won't be coming with us to the grands' for the weekend. And on top of all that, the grands have asked I not bring my puppy - so he's going with the boyfriend.


But what I'm beginning to think is that the holiday spirit isn't one of "everything's perfect - we're all together and getting exactly what we want." I think it's more of "Father! Everything's falling apart, so we lean on You and on the promise of Christmas - God with us."


That's a pretty radical approach, when you start to think about it. I have to be very aware of my own brokenness and incompetence to rely fully on God. And American consumerism tells us that the holidays are all about getting and giving [good things that make you look good] - we cover our dirty, useless selves in shiny paper and ribbons and huge price tags and pretend to not see what we really are.


But this idea of Emmanuel, of God with us, blows away all the tinsel and wrappings and glitz. It says that the most important part of the holiday is that I know who my Savior is, not that I get what's on my list.




Stick with me this weekend - I'm flinging myself into the Father's arms. I'm a little fuzzy right now (DayQuil will do that to a person), but I want to keep exploring this idea.